The Biscuit Barrel

Silliness, or a deep metaphor for modern angst?

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Of nesting doubts

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I’m not really sure I can sing the blues. I’m not even sure I can honestly say I’ve got the blues, but one thing is certain is that the blues probably has me tightly in it’s melancholy grip. A wicked vice of fate has set to work upon my stomach, and other connected innards, causing me to miss sleep in the deepest night, already lit by the early nordic sun that seems to happen at this time of year.

The intrepid explorer life seems only charming when you have something to run away from, when you want to escape monotony and the repetition of a daily job that drains the soul and that hurts you with wanderlust for things you aren’t seeing while glued to a chair by the force of society and dependency. Truly, I still feel that no fate can be worst than that slow and petty death that I could live every day. But life moves just the same even when you are charmed by far off vistas of mountains approaching, or by a small bar in a strange place that you instantly feel at home in.

What happens when you find an anchor you love dragging, what happens when it keeps you coming back, addicted to touch and smell, and the magic of green eyes glinting lively at you in the sunlight, filled with emotion and joy. Wanderlust turns on you, nagging you in a way that tears apart your gut. Sit still long enough and you feel it more. Be away long enough from the joy of eyes that feel like home and all of a sudden it seems pointless. The far away vistas, and the feeling of adventure you get in your bones when it’s just you and a camera, heading to strange new places, waiting to explore new sights with new people isn’t as fulfilling when it’s taking you farther away from what you love.

But then again, none have the same value without each other. Staying still for the sake of it, just so you don’t go away isn’t deeply fulfilling. Being able to leave without something to look back on feels like inertia without something to always bring you back.

Ignore the deep vice squeezing your stomach until it’s the size of a pea when you leave. Think of it as a way to appreciate when you leave behind, confirming it’s worth and deep value.

Ignore the wanderlust at the back of your mind, the call of the road that seems to create a constant static background to your thoughts, the building anxiety as you sit there enjoying something that far away lands will never be able to compete with.


Written by CyberFaust

aprilie 28, 2014 at 7:53 pm

Publicat în Random ramblings

My first sighting of the northern lights

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I stand still. The night feels completely alive around me. The trees sway and the eddies in the leaves rustle softly as they gently gather at my feet. The air is cold in my lungs, it’s past midnight and i can already feel the burn of winter in my lungs. Not long until the first snow will fall, covering everything in white. Soon after there will be darkness but for now the night is bright.

The treetops are silhouetted on the sky. There is no moon, but clear, shining blue-green streaks sway across the sky in a mesmerizing performance. I can’t keep my eyes away from it. This is the first time I see the the merry dancers, the northern lights, the Aurora, named after the roman goddess of dawn. In the cold i feel at peace, this is the best that Sweden has to offer: a deep communion with nature, here you can feel the earth around you.

You feel it’s alive.

Written by CyberFaust

noiembrie 4, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Cantece care nu le mai pot asculta

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Playlistul cosmarurilor mele, un post despre traume si despre oameni.


  1.  Electric Six – Danger, High Voltage (surprinzator asta, nu?)
  2. Luna Amara – Rosu Aprins (yup)
  3. Mihai Margineanu – Visul (damn it’s specificity, damn it to heck)
  4. Mika – Grace Kelly (because reasons)
  5. Adele – Someone like you  (cel mai stereotip cantec trist ever, what can i say, it pushes my buttons. Am dat intr-o masina cu bicicleta ca nu mai vedeam bine, curse that traitorous shuffle function and not cleaning up in old MP3 players.)


Culmea, ce poti lega de niste cantece. Cateodata ma intreb daca cumva la batranete nu imi voi putea asculta deloc nici un cantec preferat ca vai doamne a traume legate de ele. Poate cu ceva noroc sunt traumele mai variate si incep sa ai cosmaruri cand ascult Creedence Clearwater Revival – Run through the jungle, sau Balada aia western ”Big Iron”. Alea ar fi niste traume interesante care probabil merita povestite, nu niste povesti adanc personale care nu prea ies la iveala.

Written by CyberFaust

octombrie 2, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Publicat în Random ramblings

Lessons of Skyrim

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1. The people of Skyrim don’t appreciate you calling their country Skyrim. They pronounce it Sweden, and they call themselves swedish. Act and talk accordingly in public.

2. Moose are more dangerous than dragons and allegedly more delicious. It’s why everyone hunts them.

3. Nothing is spicy in Skyrim unless you are going to buy it from the Redguards or the chinese shops. Those actually know what spicy means.

4. The denizens of ”Sweden” have a drinking problem, so all the booze at ye olde shoppe is actually light beer/cider. All the proper drinks are in a government run store that you have to go to during the day. Nobody judges you buying 3 liter bags of wine, because everyone is doing it.

5. Cars are peaceful animals, for the most part. Don’t let this lull in vehicular violence get you off your guard. It only takes one car to introduce you to the pavement in an insistent fashion.

6. You can camp anywhere in Skyrim for 24h, much like the in-game sleeping. However while you sleep people may try and rob you,  people may shoot you because you look like a moose (because of sleepwalking with antlers on, i don’t know your life) or moose my confuse you and thing you are a moose. If this is the wrong time of the year you’ll wish you can forget that night, and there ain’t enough tequila in the world to get that out of your head.

7. The water and the air are great, buth food will always taste strange. Also bread is expensive.

8. The dragons don’t move as much as i expected, they are rather statuesque and they don’t eat too many people.

More soon.

Written by CyberFaust

septembrie 25, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Sweden diary – day 1

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Stockholm’s central train station in it’s normal moist environment

I’ve been on the road now for 17 hours now. I’m in Sundsvall, my destination, and i’m writing this from the poor man’s starbucks, Mcdonalds. God bless their free wi-fi and hearts. Because mind you, the train stations don’t relaly have FREE wi-fi, no matter what those filthy signs say. LIES AND DECEIT.

Anyway, it was a long trip, but one i didn’t get bored in because i was to  busy keeping my eyes open and trying to find out what the fuck is happening around me. I haven’t shut up this much in years, possibly since the first day of college. It was hard, I’ve never really been alone, so this is an interesting experience. The best description would be my classic phrase. This will be funny… though probably not pleasant.

Being alone is such an alien figure. Though as i am here now, it’s like romania after i’ve had a stroke and can no longer understand what people are saying, cause swedish sounds exactly like gibberish.

Now it’s time to spend a night in a train station, cause i’m mostly too poor for a hostel. I tehnically  could afford it, but i’d rather not, really.

Written by CyberFaust

august 26, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Nu mai suntem proşti

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Written by CyberFaust

iulie 21, 2012 at 10:23 am

Publicat în Random ramblings

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Cheile Nerei – The campsite

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Beware the insanely high rezolution.

Click on photo for full rezolution

Written by CyberFaust

iulie 2, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Publicat în Random ramblings